i was fading away in som kind of nightmare. wasnt vry careful. am not very careful. actually i dunno who im. the vry moment im vry disappointed and feel ive got to run away. away from all that mess. i dont feel like ive to tidy up now. cause now its too late. it doesnt matter if there s mess or not cause it simply doesnt change the whole world inside me. inside me. in my brain. in my thoughts. in my dreams. only broken things. a mess of broken things, which were beau once. once upon a time. but now evrything is messed up. without my guilt. or am i guilty. no i cant be guilty cause i wasnt here. i am not here. the world is the same world without me. im not on board any more. i ve checked out. im a blind passenger. i was a bling passenger. i ve got to run away. run away from all that mess. otherwise ill get crazy. turn into an awful lunatic. no friends. loads of time. no happiness. just mess. just crazy. just. alone. like that single dot .